Our Toilets Are So Good, Some Customers Won’t Get Up!

Have you heard the bizarre news story last week about the woman who sat on her boyfriend’s toilet for 2 years?

It’s actually a sad story, she’s probably mentally unstable, but see what these stories have in common:

1) Woman won’t get off of toilet seat for 2 years

2) A customer buys/refunds, business owner won’t let him re-buy the same product, customer files a complaint with a government agency (Yeah, that happened recently…)

3) A one-legged golfer buys a new golf driver and is able to hit the ball much farther than before.

What Do These Stories Have In Common?

They all have to do with unusual customer situations that can be exploited in sales letters and promotions.

Adding controversy to your sales letters can be very profitable.

OK, granted, referring to woman who won’t get off your toilet seat for 2 years may be in bad taste for Kohler (or whoever made that toilet), but “Amazing Secrets Of A One-Legged Golfer” sales letter written by John Carlton was an enormous success.

The (wanna be) customer complaint about not being allowed to buy a product could be turned into a very powerful headline, something like: “One Man Complained To The Attorney General Because I Wouldn’t Allow Him To Buy It… Here’s How You Can Get It Now“.

One headline I came up with for a client selling an arthritist treatment was something like, “Learn The Secrets That Got Me Thrown Out Of An Arthritis Convention” (and yes, it was true)

So what could you do with this story if you sold toilets?

Well, if she’d been sitting on your brand, your new headline could be, “One customer sat on our toilet seat for 2 years without getting up… While we don’t recommend that, we do think you’ll appreciate our fine craftsmanship”

…and yes, I DO think that’s in bad taste! -But we’re brainstorming here…

OK, let’s be a little more charitable… Let’s send that woman our deluxe top-of-the-line toilet free of charge and put out a press release about it. Donate some money to her as well to help cover her get back on her feet.

What if you published “Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader” book series? Why not send her complimentary copies of all those books and put out a press release about that?

Again, we’re just brainstorming here…

I’m pretty sure you don’t sell toilets, so the big question here is, how can you use controversy to get extra exposure or come up with a stronger headline hook?

These days it’s harder and harder to get (and keep) people’s attention. That’s why now more than ever, you need to keep a lookout for unusual ways to get attention and pitch your products.

If you don’t, you business may wind up in the toilet. (heh, look at me, I came around full circle on toilets!)

Tags: attention, controversy, customer stories, hook, one legged golfer, sales letters, toilet, two years